3 Things All Prospect Gay Parents Should Know

Gay Parent Adoption

Gay parents have the skills to be good parents and ensure that a child has a permanent home, which is the goal of adoption.

Prospective gay parents should know the following three things to truly succeed in starting a family through adoption or through foster-to-adopt.

Know the Law

Research your local adoption laws.

Most states specifically don’t have laws dictating who can adopt kids based on sexual orientation, but certain states still have laws that make it more difficult for LGBTQ people to adopt.

There are no legal protections, in most states, to guard against favoring heterosexual parents over gay parents in adoption and foster care placements.  The landscape has historically been unfriendly toward gay couples as parents.

Gay couples living in some states can jointly adopt a child.

In other states, one partner can legally adopt the biological child of the other partner through adoption procedures such as stepparent adoption or domestic partner adoption.

A joint adoption or secondary adoption are important since they allow both parties to the same-sex partnership to become legal parents of the child.

Do not rely on the assumption that the legalization of gay marriage will automatically result in legal parent status upon the birth or adoption of a child.

Non-biological parents should go through the legal procedures required for stepparent or second parent adoption as a precaution.

Know LGBTQ-Friendly Agencies

Interview prospective gay-friendly adoption agencies to ensure that it is a comfortable environment by speaking directly to the professional asking pointed questions about how LGBTQ-friendly they are, such as:

  • Do you provide counseling and support for helping LGBTQ parents?

  • Is the staff trained on how to deal with prospective LGBTQ parents AND LGBTQ children?

  • How many LGBTQ couples have successfully completed adoptions with your agency?

  • What is the typical wait time for same-sex couples compared to heterosexual couples?

Know Your Support and Resources 

All families need support from family and friends.  Some gay couples find that their parents – who may have been upset at one point in time about their child’s lifestyle – come around when grandchildren enter the picture.

Utilize social media and LGBTQ organizations to find others going through the same challenges you are, including parenting and other unique social and emotional needs of the LGBTQ parenting community.

In conclusion, gay men are motivated to become fathers by the same needs as those of heterosexual men.

Gay men also have a need to nurture and raise children, wanting the constancy of children in their lives, wanting to achieve the sense of family that children provide, and wanting a sense of generativity through having children

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.